Lots of people seem to have trouble with focus these days. From kids texting, tweeting, posting racist comments on the internet, and yelling racist comments into the microphone of their online gaming system of choice to graduate students texting, tweeting, reading for comps, decrying racist comments on the internet, and updating their Facebook status while driving down the freeway, the world is constantly calling for our attention. In response, those of us who want to get something done have to fight our chronic procrastination, often through attempts to minimize distractions. Some have employed programs that limit web access while others have tried to recreate the Doogie Howser-esque writing environment of WordPerfect 5.1.
Now, there is another option.
As the developers state, “It’s a distraction-free writing environment that we call “ū—” (pron. “YOOOoooouuuuu…”). And, it’s going to change the way you think about thinking about maybe writing some day forever.” This unprecedented freedom from distraction is achieved by a careful elimination of nearly everything, “including cruft like paragraphs, lines, and words. This is why ū— only displays the bottom half of one letter at a time. Talk about focus.”
Beyond the ability to focus, the developers recognize that what sets one program apart from another these days is customization. This is where ū— prevails, offering an “endlessly re-customized combination of options” that includes the ability to:
- Play non-distracting circus music every time you manage to finish a word
- Enjoy the minty “DONNNNNNNNG!!!” of a distraction-free wind chime every 60 seconds—just to remind you that you’re really “in the zone”
- Stay in non-stop touch with The Distraction-Free Community by showing distraction-free real-time Facebook and Twitter updates from your fellow ū—sers
- Set which affirmations you’d like our lovable “Focus the Clown” to scream at you by random intervals. He’s focus-larious!
- Set the “Angry Masturbation Break” timer to whatever interval suits you and your distraction-free genitals.
- Say sayonara to the tick-tock of that distracting clock; “Tojo the Time-Teller” will announce the exact time every seven seconds, occasionally offering distraction-free encouragements in distraction-free pidgin English
- Ask “Virtual Hemingway” to silently monitor everything you do and suggest when it’s time to try a new customized distraction-freeing setting. But, watch out! He might shoot your distractions and put them on his wall! Ha ha.
With this sort of customization at your disposal, how can ū— go wrong? Your dissertation will be finished in no time!
Via Daring Fireball and Crooked Timber, which suspiciously quotes the same text as Daring Fireball…
Memoirs of a SLACer 